The World of Attraction

I feel so so so.....

2011-03-22T01:46:00.000-07:00

Today's 22nd March. My flight's on 4th April, right after POC weekend. With only 8 days left before I leave for China, I'm pressed for time. Like seriously.

I'm feeling a mixed of emotions within; bubbling, boiling and waiting...

I feel like crying for help because there're just too much things to clear and seriously lacked time to handle them.

I feel like disappearing without communications. I feel tired of everything and I just want to rest and do nothing.

I feel like doing everything all at once, making things happen and ensuring I clear as much responsibilities as possible before I head over.

I feel like spending more time with my family and loved ones. I feel like not spending anytime with anyone except myself.

I am so looking forward to my trip. I am so dreading my trip.

I feel like getting things done. I feel like dropping everything and who gives a damn.

I feel like socializing with the entire world. I feel like shutting myself away from the entire world.

I feel like bitching, moaning and whining. I feel like I'm seriously wasting time and energy to blog this entry now.

I feel like I miss the entire world. I feel like I am ready to leave behind this part of my world.

I feel...

maybe it is time to stop blogging...

and get back to my work.

Responsibility

2011-02-24T17:36:00.000-08:00

I learnt that I cannot rescue other people from their destiny and that trying to do so can undermine their strength.

Instead of drawing conclusions, draw wisdom instead and have it manifest in your life.

The heart hurts. Hear what it says.

Accept the fact that it happened. Let it go, be complete and move on.

Never repeat same mistake twice.

Completion for 2010

2011-01-03T01:03:00.000-08:00

2010 has been a crazy year for me. Here's my completion for last year.

I did A LOT of Acts of Courage (AOCs):

There was a week when I took on the challenge of clearing 50 AOCs and clutters each (because one of my clients cleared 32 AOCs and clutters so I thought I should take it on too)
Stepped up as Course Supervisor for Freedom in Money program
Wrote and gave love letters to each of my family members
Completed my relationship with a guy
Stepped into a new relationship (despite the lack of faith that it may not work out)
Let go and moved on from that relationship
Collected a 5-year old debt
Returned an autograph book I owed for 3 years
Coached the master certified coach (finally!)
Got into a cab to chase after a bus (so I could find out why the driver didn't stop for me)
Got red hot manicure
Wore the green tank top I avoided for 2 years
Shared the truth in front of the coaching body (for MCW 1210)
Among many others...

I made a difference by stepping up for leading and coaching assignments:

Led 4 x "Making Courage Work" (MCW) programs - 0110, 0410, 1110, 1210 (each MCW program is 8-week long. So that's 32 weeks of commitment >_<)
Led 6 x "The Courage to Create" previews
Led 5 x "Basic Leadership Program" previews
Led 6 x technical trainings for the coaches (C1AA, C1A, C1B)
Led 2 x "Professional Coach Training Program 1"
Led 3 x ad-hoc trainings (on communication, invitation & coach upgrade)
Led 8 x C1AA trainings (that's another 8 weeks of commitment)
Set 2 rounds of exam papers (for C1A, and C1AA)
Coached 10 clients
Supervised 9 coaches
Tested 2 C1A coaches (took on 2 personal projects as well)

I was thirsty for knowledge:

Read 40 - 50 books
Watched many videos on strategy
Attended monthly coach, and leading trainings
Reviewed "Principles of Seduction" program

I received some really nice gifts in December:

Precious moment figurine with violin from Xing Lun
Wall paper and a lovely card from Dorothy
Cookie and choc from my "coach" cum testee, Cindy
Purple tulip from my "coach" cum testee, Huimin
Citigem necklace, and nice choc cake from my brother
SK Jewellery necklace from my sisters/ sec sch friends
A treat to Universal Studio by my dearest er mei

2010 was really - Crazy. And I grew a lot, got myself out of the comfort zone many times, fell down and got up again.

Some other random highlights of 2010:

Took bus from Larkin to JB custom for the 1st time as I visited my grandpa over Good friday's weekend. That weekend was great.
Received but lost the chance to be featured on the radio
A lot of ding-dong-ing in my career when I received news that I would be going China
Found a bistro I'd like to co-own. Over the last 2 months, I brought 31 people to that bistro. With my China trip pending, I wonder when would be the next time I speak to the director(s) again regarding our partnership
Had lunch with Michelle Saram by chance (and found out she co-owned 2 restaurants)
Picked up violin again and learnt the songs I've always wanted to learn
Did prawn fishing for the 1st time
Danced in the fountain (in front of SMU Li Ka Shing Library)
Participated in a salsa dance competition and got top 3
Opened a new savings account
Treated my parents to Singapore flyer and a nice seafood meal. Brought them to ECI's office at Henderson.
Wrapped up the year by holding a traditional X'mas dinner gathering for the 1st time and 16 ppl. turned up! Nice.

Every year, I would set a new theme for my life. Here's a recap of the themes I have had over the past 5 years:

Theme for 2010: Strategist, Personal Wealth Accumulation, Commander

Theme for 2009: Self-Love, Personal Results, Family

Theme for 2008: Integrity, Relationships & Discipline

Theme for 2007: Performance, Effectiveness & Results

Theme for 2007: Love, Wisdom & Courage

For 2011, my theme is "Pleasant Surprises, Best of the Best Time of My Life & Responsibilities".

Recent random thoughts...

2010-11-01T21:48:00.000-07:00

Recent random thoughts...

If I run away from commitment, how can I ever step into my own power and control?
Courage is taking that step to forward my dreams and goals in spite of knowing I might fail.
Life is difficult. That is why, it is fun.
How to be completely in love and detached at the same time?
What are my patterns in relationships? / How do I sabotage my relationships?
What are his patterns in relationships? / How does he sabotage his relationships?
What is the RIGHT thing to do now? And when is the RIGHT time to do it?
Sometimes, it's not about what I want anymore. It is about what would forward the organization in 3 waves to come. And matching that to my personal growth. It's about finding that RIGHT alignment and balance.
Sometimes, life just doesn't make sense anymore. Lately, I don't make sense to myself anymore. I think I've changed quite a fair bit.
Busy with activities does not mean GROWTH/ Evolution.

What is it you really want?

2010-09-21T23:15:00.000-07:00

You really need to think far and deep...

What is it you really want to do?

And how much are you willing to give up just to make it happen?

If taking on one path requires that much sacrifices and you plan to walk double paths, how much are you willing to give up just to make that happen, supposing it is even possible?

Otherwise, it becomes a constant tiptop on a platform that's not stable enough.

So... what is it you really want to do?

Set it free

2010-08-07T11:34:00.000-07:00

"If you love something, set it free; if it comes back it's yours, if it doesn't, it never meant to be."

Sigh.

The day when I seeked the truth

2010-07-27T01:36:00.000-07:00

Finally, after struggling to find the answer for so long, I decided to seek the truth.

Now that I have gotten the truth, I'm not too sure how I ought to react.

At least I'm clear that the struggling is no longer present. And I need to start getting used to this fact.

An overdue post

2010-07-14T04:43:00.000-07:00

It was an act of courage for me when I decided to stand up for myself and seek the truth why...

A bus driver of TransIsland Bus #851 passed by my stop and refused to stop for me. I thought he meant it as the next bus was arriving soon. At 0012H, I knew I had missed the last bus at 0009H. THAT, was the last bus.

I could have taken a night rider. I could have taken a cab home. I could have stayed over at SMU to catch the 1st bus. I've got quite a few options... but I doubt I could ever be at peace with myself not knowing the truth.

After debating for 10 full minutes, I decided to seek the truth and went on an adventure. I flagged down a cab and told the driver to chase after the bus.

10 minutes later, we finally found the bus. I told the cab driver to drop me 3 bus stops ahead of THAT bus so I could wait for it. My cab driver just patiently wait there for me in case I needed to take his cab again. By the way, the cab fare cost me $10.20.

This time, the bus did stop for me. I sat on the bus debating if I should confront the driver in front of everyone or wait till it reaches the yishun bus interchange to speak to him privately.
By then, I couldn't trust my emotions. I decided I'd be nice and speak to him in private.

To my surprise, my curiosity in seeking for the truth was stronger than my sense of righteousness. I spoke to the driver (who was a china man) calmly. I found out that he thought it wasn't the right stop so he didn't stop the bus for me.

Guess what's the next thing I did? I whipped out the cab receipt and the bus driver willingly paid me $10.20.

I had to walk home after that because there was no more feeder bus home.

But I'm glad I pluck out the courage to seek the truth. Sometimes, things are not as bad as it seems. The question is - Do I have the courage to seek the truth?

M'sia Trip

2010-04-05T03:06:00.000-07:00

I had an eventful Good friday's weekend.

Shopping Spree!

Bought 2 sets of "The Jewel in the Palace" DVDs because they were on a great sale. Decided I wanna give them away as presents
Bought 2 DVDs for myself
Bought facial masks at a great bargain, after I had successfully negotiated with the staff to do a goods exchange for my cousin
Bought 2 new designer's clothes after an afternoon of window shopping

I ate, ate and ate...

Had a sumptuous dinner at a restaurant
Had Bak Kut Teh for breakfast with my grandfather, bonded with him, and in the process, learnt something about my dad which I wasn't aware of
Had the famous Melacca's chicken rice balls, which I had been craving them for years
Had a waffle which I honestly feel it's much better than Prima Deli's
Celebrated my grandfather's birthday. There was a buffet catering, but all I can recall is my red egg, which I had been craving for some time.
Went night market and had curry fish balls, satay chicken and keropok (damn nice!)
Had Bak Kut Teh for breakfast again with my relatives, but at a different stall

I charmed my relatives with my skill sets =P

Taught my cousin how to do speed reading
Taught another cousin how to watch out for timing to bet in Casino
Taught 2 relatives a bit of memory skills. Felt like I was leading a preview on Power Memory Coaching Program =P

Exchanged news with my relatives

Exchanged updates/ gossips with my relatives
Yup, I got brainwashed by my cousin that I really should go K.L. despite what others claim that it is not safe

I paid respects to my ancestors

Went tomb-cleaning and paid respects to my great grandparents and my grandmother

I realized that I could read people really well...

Not that I can't already read people, but I realized how much I've grown when I started to feel all the pain spots and needs of each relative. It was both amazing and kinda spooky.

Caught up with my readings

Managed to borrow a book on personality reading from my cousin, and completed reading it!
Completed another 2 chapters of Dao De Ching. I somehow feel I'm taking forever to finish that book.

Had my 1st time...

Quite an adventure to take a chartered bus alone for my 1st time... but I didn't like the experience of squeezing with people on the bus all the way from Larkin to JB custom, and JB custom to Singapore's custom!
I bumped into a really nice Malay father and daughter at Larkin interchange who looked after my belongings and smiled at me when they left.

I had an eventful weekend. Now that I'm back, it's back to work again...

Try at least once in my lifetime...

2010-03-23T02:49:00.000-07:00

Here's what I would love to try at least once in my lifetime. I want to...

Do dirt biking
Sit in a hot air balloon and sail across the seas and mountains
Trek in the desert
Do skateboarding and believing that i'm damn good at it
Dive in clear blue seas and make monkey faces to the fishes
Do water rafting
Do paragliding
Jet skiing
Bungee jumping
Sky diving
Explore an isolated/ forgotten island
Hike in the forest, get lost, but rescue without a scratch
Go on a snow expedition and take pictures with the polar bears
Stand at the top of the mountain with my loved one
Dress like young indiana jones and go trekking
Canoeing at some nice waters with no one but me and my partner
Be so awed by the mountains that I'm moved to tears
Ride motorcycle and take beautiful photos around the country side
Do rock climbing and be a national geographer for a day
Do sunbathing/ spiritual dance under the sun
Spiritual trip to San Diego
Dance in the middle of the street in Spain and people dance crazily with me, and we all had so much fun...

Here're the things I would love to do which are FREE...

I want to...

Be moved by a cup of coffee
Allow my smile to touch a total stranger; just like how my candy brighten the spirit of a lady during my FIM
My words of encouragement prevented someone from ending his life
My love inspires others to live the best they can each day and be a source of inspiration to others
While I'm dancing in the fountain again, adults drop their briefcase and join me in the water and play
Be a tourist in Singapore, armed with my camera and go around the place asking for directions. Connect to my country like it's my 1st time.
Heal a bitter soul with my warm tears and lovely smile
Be moved by my greatness every single day...

The Day When I've Too Many Plates to Spin

2010-02-08T04:21:00.001-08:00

迷时望目标。卡时望起点。慢时加能量。乱时把心定。

A really weird day

2010-01-28T02:25:00.000-08:00

Interesting

The day before a friend called for some coaching because he was feeling overwhelmed. I shared with him a story on the "little monk and 10 rice sacks" to lift up his spirits. He shared with me over msn today that he shared the same story to 3 of his friends, and all of them gained clarity and realizations on their lives. That was like "wow".

I bumped into a stranger in the lift. I said "hello, how was your day?". He replied, "I hope it's a great one so that we can close a $6M deal." I said gd luck to him. Twice. It felt nice to connect to a stranger just like that.

I took a cab back to Great world city and had a gd chat with the cab driver. I usually don't. It was nice.

I was the 1st one to reach office today.

BooBoos

I took a cab to Neil road but forgot to get the receipt from the driver. I can't claim from company. =(

When I reached office, I found out that I need to refund account dept a previous claim because I threw their petty cash voucher into the dustbin after I collected the money.

Seems like a day of interesting connection but a booboo day of losing petty cash.

Need to increase my awareness and empty my mind.

Let me see if I can self-coach and turn my fortune around.

Gd luck to me. Gd luck to me.

Theme For Year 2010

2010-01-18T01:10:00.000-08:00

Summary of 2009

Cleared a few bucket list items

Flew a kite
Skinny dipped
Bought a bouquet of flowers for myself
Reverse-bungeed

Coaching & Leading experience

Hosted/ led at least 10 times.
Highest experience point gained last year was leading PCTP1 workshop with Lin
Stepped into my role as a C2 supervisor coach.
Stepped up as a C2 coordinator
Did private coaching for Sotheby

Personal development

Read around 40 - 50 books

Management experience

Managed 1 TCC preview (50% enrollment ratio)
1 PCTP1 preview (30 guests, ~30% enrollment ratio)
1 social event (30 new guests)
1 PMCP workshop (13 participants, 2 signed up for advanced programs)
Wave 10 BLP (27 participants)
Experience Points gained was adopting new strategies in my enrollment plan for PCTP1 preview, and changed my style of management (to more empowering) for BLP.

BLP Wave 8

I joined Wave 8 9-month basic leadership program. I was a strategist for the wave in semester 3, and I think I did a good job.
Managed to have a pri-sch friend to come back into my life. Now he is in wave 10.
Assistant Director for our wave 8's film
Communication trainer for wave 9 as my community service project

Media exposure

Featured in Lian He Zao Bao for Linking Hearts Campaign on 9 August, 2009 http://linkinghearts.wordpress.com
Starred in Channel 8’s “我是不倒翁” aka “I will survive” reality TV show

Family

Reassured my family of my responsibilities
Did an act of courage and told my grandfather that I love him

Romance

Realized that my attractiveness/ attraction level has increased
Found someone that feels right

Career

Left my business partnership and joined Wilmar International, in training phase as a Business Process Analyst. Still working there currently.

Overall, year 2009 has been a fruitful year for me. My theme for 2009 was “Self-love, Personal Results, and Family” and I’m glad there’re significant breakthroughs in each of the domain.

My Theme for year 2010: “Strategist, Personal Wealth Accumulation, Commander”

Qualities I need to hone:

Charisma
Precision in timing
Leadership
Attraction
Self-Mastery
More courage to step up
Compassion
Higher standards – be strict on demanding standards
Grace
Gracefulness in delivery
Ability to express my clarity and cause paradigm shifts in others easily
Etc

“要舍才能得，不舍就不得。”

2009-12-07T00:41:00.000-08:00

Sometimes when we really want something badly, we got to ask ourselves, how much is it worth?

In chinese there's a saying, “要舍才能得，不舍就不得。”

It means, you need to let go in order for you to get/ receive. If you don't let go, then you can't get/ receive.

Makes me ponder, what is it I was not willing to let go of? What was it I was so attached to?

If I want it the way I want it badly enough, am I ready to lose everything as well?

I think I've reached a point where I'm not willing to settle down for anything less. So here goes...

ALL or NOTHING.

At this point, I had a realization - the thing I was not willing to let go of, was my sense of perfection.

WTF.

And that brings me to back to the starting point - "What should I do next?"

And then another realization came - maybe, I wasn't ready to let go of my indecisiveness.

WTF.

Alright, back to ALL or NOTHING again.

PS: I miss my clarity. I wish she can bring us out of this loop.

I love Me!

2009-11-14T03:34:00.001-08:00

Writing this entry to remind myself of this certainty I'm feeling currently.

No one else can provide me with certainty. Only I can give myself the state of reassurance and certainty I need
If you want something from someone, and when you are prepared to give him what he wants, you will realize you will get what you want too
I love myself enough to give myself the certainty that I do want this relationship, a lot.
The more I try to run away from getting hurt, the more I would be hurt
The more I try to deny myself from my feelings, the more I find it harder to move on
The more I try to seek security outside, the more insecured I would feel inside. The more secured I feel inside, the more sense of security I get outside.
When I stop blocking my emotions from flowing, I am one with my heart and mind.
I love me.
I love him.
I love me enough to love him.
Gosh, I love this feeling of self-love, certainty and sense of security. I am so freaking moved.
I love me, I love me, I love me.... I love me... Gosh, I love this new me...
Alright, now what's left is an act of courage... Let's Do It!!!

The Courage to Create

2009-11-08T21:16:00.000-08:00

I just completed "The Courage to Create" coaching program over the weekend.

What's nice are...

I did this program with a primary and sec school mate
Finding out the source for my fear of rejection, lack of trust, independence, lost-ness etc came from
Did many Acts of Courage and let go of many emotional baggage
Free up a lot of trapped energies
An ex-crush complimented me that I looked more attractive these days
I am more charismatic, clear, attractive, free, grounded etc
Deepened self-love and connection to self
Improved a lot of relationships as a result of these Acts of courage
Gained a lot of clarity about my life and the direction i'm heading to
Attracted free bag of fries and a burger
Had an interesting experience at Vivocity

Latest Happenings...

2009-11-04T20:11:00.000-08:00

My latest happenings...

Program Manager for the creation of a leadership program. Working closely with a team of 30 ppl to make this happen.
Assistant Director of a movie (local independent production) - shooting in progress this weekend, but i'm not around... so...
Helping out at the editing team
Watched 4 movies within the last 2 weeks. Would be catching another movie this evening
Practised a lot of chinese at work while working closely with the system analyst from china
Supporting cast for a local tv reality show. Screening in Dec! Woot!
Coaching private client from Sotheby. Cool experience~
Came across this term, Conference Producer, for the 1st time and i think it sounds cool. Hmm...
Played a few rounds of bball
Celebrated Halloween and wore costume for my 1st time too.
Would be reviewing a coaching program this weekend with a pri school mate. Cool~
Read 3 new books this month. Borrowed another 4 books at the library. Can't wait to finish them all
Lost 2 kg. But just put on another kg last night after visiting Carl's Jr. >_<
Meeting new people. Great. Now's high time to catch up with old friends. =)

That's all... would be expecting Nov. to be a month of new experiences, productivity, catching up with friends and family period.

Interesting experience

2009-10-30T02:29:00.000-07:00

Acted as a supporting cast for a reality show on Channel 8 last night.

I made Guo Liang and the whole casting crew waited for almost an hour. Oops...

Other than that, it was a really fun, interesting and spontaneous shooting...

Being not so self-conscious help in being natural...

Chatting with the crew was an interesting experience too.

Experience as a Director

2009-10-20T21:08:00.000-07:00

Just completed my BLP 3rd weekend on Mon morning. To be honest, we didn't really have completion. We were so so so busy over the weekend that by the time i'm ready to go to work, most of us couldn't even stand straight. We were that tired.

But it was such fun! We had a 48-hour movie making campaign, and I was the assistant director of the movie. Could you imagine not sleeping for 48-hour?

Things we had to do in this crazy 48-hour:
- Align the team (on what movie is it)
- Operations plan
- Crash course on movie-making
- Crash course on editing
- Crash course on directing/ filming effects
- Script- writing
- Make-up
- Location search/ scouting (like where to shoot certain scenes etc)
- Shooting / Re-shooting
- Reviewing the videos
- Editing the scenes
- Piecing the scenes together
- Researching on various film festival to submit our movie to
- Lots of bickering
- Fierce battle-in-progress
- Ensuring the team is still alive
- Crash course on sound effects
- Going around making sure everyone stays awake and being productive
- Creating special segment (like those NGs scenes)
- Create credits for acknowledgements
- Playing the raw movie

I think it's crazy, i think it's fun. I think i was so greenhorn. I think I can get much better.
I realized so much of my strengths, weaknesses, growth, communication, miscommunication, leadership, working style etc. When you are stressed, all these surfaced. I appreciate the growth over this weekend. =)

Shall research more on being a great director.

3rd weekend is here!

2009-10-15T00:11:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is my wave 8 BLP* 3rd weekend.

I'm ending my 3rd semester with:

Results to show
Systems in place
Balls to juggle
Increased and increasing attraction level
Sense of loss (people come, people go. *sniffs sniffs*)
Determination to make things work no matter what
Formulas that worked and didn't work
Newfound confidence
A sexy strategist (hehehe... so cute!)
Newfound way of communication

Alright, can't wait for it to start. Can't wait for it to complete.

BLP* stands for basic leadership program

Tired!

2009-09-27T21:14:00.000-07:00

More things to let go...

That includes the sense of loss...

It's a trying phase, and i'm tired...

Just feel like having a good long sleep, and i'll wake up feeling much better...

Let the world outside battle...

I'll join u once the fight's over...

Sigh.

Wisdom says again...

2009-09-22T01:38:00.001-07:00

Dear Resignation,

I'm very amused because I could half-imagine you closing your eyes and covering your head to dodge the next boulder to come.

Hahaha...

Maybe you might 1st try opening your eyes and look UP!

What did you see?

Did you see the 15 vents that I see? Or see the sun half setting behind the mountain top?

Or did you see the 3 rocks that just went pass you?

Perhaps if you spend less time cringing, you would probably notice what I see.

I suggest you break the 15vents into 5 sizeable parts, so you can score small wins 1st.

Once you managed to hit your 1st breakthrough, you will start getting used to winning again.

I mean, what do you expect? The rocks at the summit are always more vulnerable than the ones at the bottom right? The rocks at the bottom will always have a larger base, and thus, stronger foundation. Of 'cos you gonna expect the rocks at the top to be shaky. Pardon me for being sarcastic, but you mean you actually didn't factor that in? Sigh...

Why are you ranting about the loose rocks? Like you ranting will make the rocks any firmer.

Ok? I think you've rested enough, and I've pointed out the 15 vents to you. Overcome the 1st part, then let's continue this conversation again.

Good luck!

With Love,
Wisdom Says

PS: Do remember to open your eyes and stop cringing! ; )

It's like...

2009-09-21T23:04:00.000-07:00

It's like...

After creating so much amazing results that for a moment, it feels like you've reached another realm of your evolution.

Then Wham! Bam! Boom! Rocks came tumbling down and rolling at high speed after you.

It's like...

After dodging one stone, the next rock, and the next boulder, you feel like giving up, but you tell yourself not to. After all, you didn't climb so high up the mountain just to give up, right?

I dunno when the "giving up" conversation start to kick in... but when it did...

It's like...

An overwhelming sense of resignation, and the previous accomplishments were humbled by the multiple aches and bruises from the rocks.

I looked up at the mountain. It's just one more lap. But i'm resting now, wondering where to summon more inner strength to surmount this last lap.

No, i'm lying when I said i was slacking. I just didn't know how else to climb up. I'm worn out.

I bitched, ranted, complained about the rocks. I tried to attract attention that I can't move on any longer. But I guessed b'cos I climbed so high up already and left almost everyone behind, that few can understand how I'm feeling right now. Or maybe people are too busy climbing that they also feel like ranting themselves. I doubt they even heard me.

Who else can I turn to except inside me?

I feel so discouraged.

I really wanna finish off this last lap. But I'm damn scared to move from my current position. I dunno whether to move my right arm 1st or my left.

I'm so scared that I might fall and sabotaged whatever effort i've put in so far.

Of 'cos, I could always justify that even if I fall, I still have the experience of completing 3/4 of the climb, and no one can take that experience from me.

DUH! Like that is good enough for me. Why would I want to start climbing if I don't climb up to the top?

So how?

Left or right arm? Left or right leg?

Sigh.

LET'S DO IT!!!

2009-09-14T23:27:00.000-07:00

I met him on wed for supper.

Mon he came for the preview.

Both of us registered as reviewer for the Nov's batch.

You know, karma has never been so interestingly into your face like now.

Like how 2 years later, you went through one full cycle, only to realize you are still at the starting point.

Perhaps the only difference is how both of us have evolved to the next level of our lives.

Anyway, we're ready to complete the cycle, and the karma.

Great, i'm definitely looking forward to that =)

Lately, with all the lives i've made a difference to over the past 1 month, made me feel like a changed person. Great!

On a separate note, I feel so darn sian at work today. Same old assignment.

Aiyo... need to faster complete it. Dun drag any more!!!

LET'S DO IT!!! BLITZ ARHHH....

The Sign

2009-09-09T01:27:00.000-07:00

This is the 3rd time she appeared and called me from the back.

I may be reading too much into things... but I'd rather trust the signs...

I need to watch my back...

Hmm... what is it that I can put in place?

Turn table around.

2009-08-30T23:17:00.000-07:00

Now the question is...

How to turn the table around, and cause a deal to happen?

Hmph...

I WILL this to work.

C'mon! Make It Happen!!!

Eventful day

2009-08-26T18:33:00.000-07:00

Had an eventful day yesterday:

Was acknowledged by a senior that I would be managing 2 projects very soon. All that ARC building was good, and paid off.
Had a step closer towards closing an important deal. Final negotiation phase now. So exciting!
Added a new collection of books to my library
Spent some nice time with LY
Collected laptop from Kel and learnt about the way I ought to study about political leaders should I wish to improve my strategy
Had a fulfilling coaching session with PL
Enrolled successfully the Channel ICs for coach workshop
Felt excited at the possibility of me working on my personal attraction, and forward my wave in theirs
Held an alignment meeting with my team. Let's Do It!!!

Updates on 8 core domains

2009-08-24T21:06:00.000-07:00

They call it 8 Octagon. They call it "Rice symbol". I call it 8 core domains. Whatever. Here's the updates:

Career: Had breakthrough this week when I went to train end user alone. However, stuck at another assignment. Need to finish that assignment soon before I can request for newer assignments.

Finance: Saw how the cause and effect happened and created a spiral effect to other people. Especially in a preview.

Love/ Romance: In the line of inconvenience and convenience. Should we be doing something about this line? I'm not sure.

Family/ Social: The reaching out in terms of connection, is amazing. The avoidance to wait for the right timing, is not.

Health/ Vitality/ Energy: Should start avoiding red bull.

Effectiveness: The focus and intention are great. What's not is the anxiety.

Freedom: This is good. I like it. Especially freedom to express myself during my preview leading.

Fulfillment: Experience a lot of challenges, which i enjoyed. What could be better is the sustenance of my integration of self.

Note to self: Never lose sight of your theme, "Self-love, Personal Results, Family". Make it Happen!

Official leading assignment

2009-08-24T20:48:00.000-07:00

Led a preview with Ben last night.

I appreciate how it was natural, spontaneous, in the moment, quick wit and flow for me. I saw how my XP in leading went up, and I really enjoyed myself. What deserved compliment was how I did my self-introduction. I felt proud of myself when I did my self-intro. It was very different from the way i usually mocked, where I had difficulty in sharing about myself.

I like the way how the crowd loved my jokes/ humor. I like the way how there were feedbacks from a guest that she like the way I spoke, and how I overcome adversity as a teenager.

I love the way the audience reacted positively to my quick-thinking when the video couldn't work, twice.

I enjoyed being myself and using my own language, expression to describe a typical, usual script.

What i need to work on is my uncertainty when it comes to parts where it's not clearly defined who should be leading. I need to watch out not to let self-doubt run me and keep checking in with my partner.

Overall, it was a pity this leading can't be rated for my test, mainly bcos the results weren't ideal. Sigh, what a pity.

Acts of Affirmation

2009-08-21T00:22:00.000-07:00

Last night during coach training, we went through the dynamics of relationships.

The acts of affirmation is so darn important. So are the acts of punishment.

From today onwards, I shall master the art of reading one's needs of affirmation, within 10 secs.

Argh!~~~

Sweet Victory (17 Aug 2009)

2009-08-17T22:48:00.000-07:00

The breakthroughs last night were amazing.

2 of my friends are about to have their lives changed, and I'm so looking forward to it.

It was a moment of "this-is-so-freaking-cool"!

Broke a 2-year inner barrier I had. In life, there are many kinds of battles. Some battles you fight alongside with comrades. Some battles you just have to avoid them. And there are those battles where you know it's yours, and no one else should end the fight for you.

I fought before many times, and I lost many battles. I licked my wounds, and for 2 years, preparing myself to be stronger. Last night, I fought again. This time, I won. Victory has never been so sweet, and when I cry, I cry of pure... well... pure... victory. The joy of winning yourself. The joy of knowing how much strength i've garnered over these 2 years. The joy of knowing how this 1 victory means so much to me.

I so feel like crying again now...

On a separate note, i'm into Jay Chou's "Jian Dan Ai" song these 2 days.

I think... I feel love again... I think... I am in love again... =)

Power. Leadership. Control.

2009-07-28T01:52:00.000-07:00

So I was in this conversation.

It was running me.

She says...

Integration is necessary. You can't have half of you feeling vulnerable, and half of you desiring power, leadership and control.

How can you achieve One-ness? That is the key.

Till you achieve that One-ness, be true to who you are. Dun be afraid of being ridiculed, misunderstood, tired... b'cos no one can walk your path except you.

Never lose sight of what's important, in exchange of temporary inconvenience.

Stay - Oneheart.

A flood

2009-07-28T01:29:00.000-07:00

It is one of those days, when the mind is filled with thousand and one questions from no where, as though fighting their way out from a repressed force.

Here comes the flood:

What the f&*k am i doing here?
What's the purpose? What's the point?
Where's the boundary?
What is control?
Why am i so triggered to be in control?
What's wrong with that?
What have i thought of?
How brilliant can I be?
How can I grow as a strategist?
How can I grow as a commander?
Do they clash? Why? Why not?
How to create self-momentum and sustain it? By hitting "X" slow and steady? Is that all?
What have I missed out?
Why do i reject control? Why do i reject command?
Should I have stepped up anyway?
How to win the hearts of many?
How to tell if one is bearing the resentments of many? Like bean.
How to convey the depth of what I see in simple words?
When can I reach the level where i convey depth of clarity like sprouting poetry?
Why should I care if people care?
Why am I so into the whole, every single part of me must be fully aligned? It's-ok-to-wait-a-while-longer-to-integrate-the-rest-of-me.
Why am i no longer jumping into things?
What's wrong with putting up a strong front?
What's wrong with stepping into power?
What's wrong with being freaking alone?
Must all leaders be lonely?
Is creating distant equivalent to increasing respect?
How can I apply whatever i'm learning now into my life?
Why is there still such a big gap between my strengths and what i'm used for?
How to bridge that gap?
Why am I always tired? of everything... why?
What can I be used for?
Why do i even care about that?
I want importance. How to get there?
What moves should I be taking now?

About time i realized... they talked the same, sounded the same, came from same source. I should have suspected it's some lunatic conversations running wild. Same source. Makes me wonder... what triggered them. Makes me wonder... how can I transcend them? Makes me wonder... how deep can I go this time? Makes me wonder... who can understand me?

Makes me wonder... who is this that is speaking now?

BLP Wave 8 2nd Weekend

2009-07-15T23:05:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is BLP Wave 8's 2nd weekend...

I'm looking forward to it.

Current State:

Stillness in the water - I see the depth

A step into power - I sense the world is changing

Transcend the world - I think i've understood some egos along the way

Listen to the heart - I feel the sound of fear is barely audible

Integration and Integrated - I say what I mean, and mean what I say

Grace in delivery - I flow and fold conversations

Race is not completed yet - I go... eh... 3 more months left. Better run faster, harder and more effectively.

An Emotional Rollercoaster

2009-03-26T02:55:00.000-07:00

One of my MCW clients is embarking on her writing project. After checking out her blog, I was inspired to blog an entry as well. Check out her blog: http://wherethiseaglenests.blogspot.com/

Have been musing a lot about my life lately. I've been through quite a fair bit of emotional roller coaster. I experienced:

The Sweet Victory of having managed a successful event with a bunch of people I care a lot
The Hermit withdrawing from the world and human so that she can have her solitude (in short, it means being a potato couch)
The Stillness in my heart when I looked at the scenery as I'm blogging this
The Pride of a lady whom refused to acknowledge her feelings
The Courage of a cub to confront her weaknesses
The Brilliance of inspiration in self-coaching
The Sinking feeling of reality setting in that nothing BIG is accomplished, yet
The Tiredness from all the emotional turmoil
The Awe in having breakthroughs in my life and seeing how much I've changed
The Introvert who says, "Let's keep this entry, short and simple"

6-steps to get out of feeling overwhelmed/ lost

2009-03-08T23:33:00.000-07:00

Dear Wisdom,

I'm feeling lost, overwhelmed, very stuck in my life right now. I've lost clarity again and i really want to move on. What should I do now?

All my energies are focused on feeling self-doubt, overwhelmed, stagnant, stuck, lost, and confronted. What should I do next??? There are so many things I need to handle right now, but I don't know where and how to begin. =(

Feel really lousy now. Sigh.

Please talk to me and tell me what to do next.

Please help me,
-=Lost Girl=-

--

Dear Lost Girl,

Would like to 1st acknowledge the emotional turmoil you're going thru currently. Things must be difficult for you when the road ahead is unclear. Sometimes, when we are stuck, all we need is a helping hand to lead us thru the right path, or shine the light to see where you are. However, most people would feel too stuck to call for help. Remember - for every problem, there must be a solution ; )

Here're a few steps you can start to take on and try if it works for you.

Step 1- you got to understand where are you in your life. I'm referring to the positioning you are with regards to your goals and targets. If you have a goal of $50k target, for example, are you facing backwards, face down, left, right or what? I'm referring to energetic & mental-wise. If you can locate your position with regards to your goal, we can do something about your progress

Step 2 - what has been done so far? Usually when someone is feeling overwhelmed, it's b'cos he/she over-lapsed many things together and trying to figure out where and how to begin. If that's the case for you, i suggest you start by breaking down the different areas of your life into columns. In each column, list down the target/ goal you have. List down the things you should be doing such that it will lead you to your goal directly. Next, list down all the things you've done so far. I meant direct actions, instead of indirect actions.
For example, Column 1 - Health. Target - Lose 5 kg in 7 weeks. Direct Actions - Jog 3 times a week. Eat 1/2 bowl of rice each meal. No soft drinks! What I have done - Jog once a week. Managed to reduce soft drinks intake to once per day from 3 times a day.

Step 3rd - Have a priority system. It could be that your priority system is based on time-critical, or whether the tasks bring in the most money. Your priority system would depend on 1) how practical is it in forwarding your life, 2) whether it fits your values, and 3) what you need most at this point in your life. Create a priority system for the different areas in your life to see which is the most important. Make sure you know what your priority system is based on.

Step 4 - Block out your schedule. Once you have a priority system in place, block out the schedule to tackle the most critical ones 1st. Or for some people, what motivates them is creating small wins for themselves. So they would actually prefer to tackle the least important ones and work their way up the list. If that method works for you, try that instead.

Step 5 - Minimize your gap between your goals and current skill sets. Once you are done working your way thru your list, start looking at the missing gap between your skill sets and your goals. What skill sets or knowledge do you need to gain in order for you to progress faster? What would you need to have or be in order to be in FLOW?

Step 6 - Acquire the skills. GO FOR IT and MAKE THINGS HAPPEN! =)

Let me know if it works! ; )

Theme for 2009

2009-01-14T10:37:00.000-08:00

This is an update since I came back from my Cambodia Trip on 1st Jan 09. Here were some of the cool things I did during the trip:

Rode on a white horse for the 1st time in my life!!!
Went horse riding again, this time I rode for an hour around the country side & was able to gallop and maneuver the horse quite confidently!
Went on a Quad Adventure for the 1st time (Quad is a 4-wheel BIG motor bike)
Had 3 massages (including 1 unforgettable one *shudders*)
Celebrated count down and the whole lights in the street went OUT
Nearly did not make it for the airport trip back to Singapore in time
Tried ermmm.... fried cricket for the 1st time
Went temple-shopping/ tomb-raiding. I finally experienced a thing called, "Overdose of temple-visiting"
Went Angkor Wat 3 times (it's supposed to be one of 7 wonders of the world)
Watched National Treasure & South Park in Hotel >_<
Went to Cambodia mine (the energy of the place affected me that I cried)
Celebrated my b'day out of Singapore for the 1st time
Went to play Casino legally for the 1st time in my life! And actually won! =D

In short, many 1st times in my life. It was qte a gd experience, save for the fact that Siem Reap was too pricey for a 3rd world country! If you are keen to visit Cambodia, try Phnom Penh instead.

After I'm back, I did...

Learnt Tarot reading & created my tarot cards
A guest for BLP preview
Sign up for BLP wave 8
Attracted an opportunity in AdvantEdge as Accounts Executive, a role which i've always wanted
Attracted several other job opportunitues
Watched 2 movies
And a lot more mandane stuffs

Every year, it's customary for me to create a theme for 2009. So before Jan and CNY is over, here's My Theme for 2009:

Self-Love, Personal Results, Family

Happy New Year to All!

My Intent list for year 2009

2008-12-17T11:43:00.000-08:00

What would be really cool and amazing in year 2009:

Having at least 3 quality/ ideal romantic relationships
Read at least 20 good books/e books
Created another new personal website
Take on 5 - 10 non ECI private coaching clients, each paying $50 - 250/hr
Be featured in 3 magazines, TV News, and newspapers for good personal publicity
Got my Associate Coach Certification by International Coach Federation
Got 3 awards, certifications and accolades
Deepen rewarding and loving relationship with my family, closed friends, loved ones and myself
Be able to do "yi zhen jian xue"/ one-shot kill coaching many times
Many, many personal results in the 10 domains: work/career, finance, romance/ social, family, freedom, fulfillment, health, effectiveness, coaching, and leading
Led "Making Courage Work" program and half-tech programs!
Led in ECI more than 15 times, and non- ECI more than 5 times
Have weekly family dinners/ outings
Deep phone chats almost every night with my closest friends
Become more seductive, alluring, and graceful
Managed and maintained 2 profitable websites/ blogs
Picked up violin again. Be able to play "Chang hai yi sheng xiao" and "Hey Jude" on violin. Go for violin classes and get grade 3!
Attract really amazing business lobangs/ opportunities and have the capacity, space and skills to take them on
Be a good strategist, and use my sharp business acumen
Know in depth of successful business mechanics
Successfully managed 2 personal profitable businesses/ start-ups/ enterprises
Take on a certification in either combat/ dancing/ music
Be debt-free - Including tuition fee and bank loans! That would be amazing!
Master my chinese language - can lead TCC preview/ half-tech program in Mandarin
Get both my parents to take TCC - that would be "stunning news of the year"
Get my brother to take POS and BLP
Be very healthy and play many good bball games
Bring my family to tour taiwan
Celebrate my 25th b'day with my sisters and closed friends
Growth in processing, coaching, energetic and leading skills
More proficient in Bahasa Melayu and Spanish language. Pick up a new dialect - Hokkien/ Cantonese

Year 2008's Reflections

2008-12-17T10:43:00.000-08:00

The year is almost coming to an end. I'm going away to Cambodia to celebrate my b'day with a bunch of conscious beings, in a nice holy-type place. I'll be visiting temples and buddhist statues. What a way to spend my b'day, and counting down to year 2009!

Here's a recap of what I wrote in 01 Jan 2008:

---

Theme for year 2008

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU!

2006's theme: Love, Wisdom & Courage

2007's theme: Performance, Effectiveness & Results

2008's theme: Integrity, Relationships & Discipline

INTEGRITY: Honoring all my words and promises. When I say "X", "X" happens. Having a clutter-free life and walking each step feeling clean. Being a source of Light and causing others to be source of Light in their world.

RELATIONSHIPS: Build deep, meaningful and fulfilling relationships with the people in my world. With my loved ones; to work on patience, space, love, acceptance and championing their growth. For my clients; to work on building lasting relationships, creating value, transforming their lives and championing their growth."

DISCIPLINE: To enforce integrity and ensuring my foundation is solid. To keep hitting "X" and scoring critical wins in my life. Chop wood, carry water and climb hill consistently to increase the speed and precision in getting my results. To embrace humility and inspiration in my beingness. To ensure I work on all areas of my life and be a well-rounder. To immerse myself in joy, magic, good health, good fortune and love in every tasks I take on.

---

I'm always very cautious about what I wrote as my theme for the year, because it is damn scary to observe on hindsight how life has been governed by the 3 themes. For example, I saw how I worked my ass off in 2007 as I gun for effectiveness, performance and results. In this year, so many incidents popped up to remind myself on my integrity (or lack of) and discipline (or lack of). I shall have fun mulling over my 2009's theme over at Cambodia.

Here's a summarized list of my happenings in 2008:

Led 5 previews (3 "The Courage to Create" previews and 2 "Power Memory Coaching Program" previews)
Finally passed my C2 rank supervisor coach exam - So now i'm officially a supervisor coach! (it means i can coach & supervise other coaches)
Created my coach website, one that I can truly call it my own - http://bethesource.wordpress.com
Entered into a partnership for education business - check this out after you have checked out my own website k? ; ) http://seedseducation.wordpress.com/
Graduated from SMU, School of Information Systems Mgmt, double major in Marketing
Got into (and ended) another romantic relationship
Co-authored and created a book within 24 hours, which become local best seller in Kinokuniya, Borders and Harris Bookstores, and featured in Channel NewsAsia, Channel 5, 8, Suria, Channel U, teletext etc - http://pickmeup-book.com/
Coached 6 clients and 6 buddy coaches. Worked with someone to lose 15.5kg and doubled his income with 7 weeks, another to create a 3-min animation and website from scratch within 7 weeks, another to lose 7.5kg and improve her discipline in studies, another in his communication and confidence etc. It's amazing!
Coached myself out of my 3rd depression in my life (and the worst out of the 3). Don't think anything can get me down so easily after that depression
Got a double promotion in my 1st week at my 1st job after i graduated from SMU. Ex-boss managed to create a new position for me before I left the company. It was a cool experience
Graduated from my 9-month Basic Leadership Program
Invested and upgraded my skillsets via these programs: Freedom in Money (I reviewed this program. Took it in year 2007), Guerrilla Marketing, Principles of Seduction-Reviewer (POS-R) and Professional Coach Training Program 2
Bumped into many many many old friends while I was working at Dreamworks
Cleaned up my integrity in different aspects of my life (physical room, work, finances etc)
Managed to cross the 50th events that I managed between year 2007 and 2008
Went to M'sia for seafood. It's the 1st time I took a bus there in the middle of the night!
Did personality reading with strangers and got paid for it! Weird and cool experience!
Went to Thailand, M'sia, and Cambodia (in a few more days)
Got offered a $3k deal to managed a Dinner and Dance, just by passing my namecard to a stranger i met in less than 5 minutes at a networking event
Got myself an educational trainer position to train pri and sec sch students in open source
Got myself decent paying freelance writing assignment(s)
Had 4 job offers after I graduated
Had a customer service issue - made me learnt so much about the importance of follow up and cleaning up your integrity
Turning 24 in a couple of weeks' time
Experienced what is it like to start researching, planning, writing and editing my assignments 3 hours before my submission deadlines
Realized that I have improved in my fighting skills - more disciplined and speed in my punches
Joined the Course Supervisor Body
Was a Course Supervisor for a 1st time for TCC preview and Power Memory Coaching Program (June). Had to juggle between being a program manager, course supervisor, course leader support, and assistant for Power Memory Coaching Program
Experienced what is it like to be super super broke, and what it takes to get out of it
Was tour guide for my m'sia and USA cousins for the 1st time
Took on an ad-hoc painting assignment, survived quality check, and got paid for it!

What the f*ck am I doing here?

2008-08-30T11:08:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it's almost 3 months since I last had an entry.

A lot of things happened during these 3 months; well, it always does, anyway.

A few noteworthy things that i did lately:

Graduated from SMU, finally!
Just joined Dreamworks. I got double promotion on my 1st week of work - 1st promotion was to Executive Consultant. 2nd promotion was to Corporate Trainer.
Brought my M'sian and USA cousins to tour around Singapore last weekend. Think if i switch to tour guide, i could probably excel too =P
Assisted at "The Door" and "Wave 6 Basic Leadership Program 3rd weekend".
As i worked at Dreamworks over the past 1 week, i bumped into several ppl.; Dianna, Xiao li, Johnny, and that Hisatomo auntie

After assisting at the wave 6 3rd weekend, i'm just so present to these questions:

What the f*ck am I doing here?
What should I do next?
What does an extraordinary life mean to me?
How can I fuse my higher mission/ vision to whatever i am doing now?

Ever since I graduated from my BLP, I feel really lost. Like REALLY LOST!

Kind of like, I've seen and experienced so much extraordinary moments in my life, especially within the last 2 - 3 years, that whatever i am doing now feels so damn ordinary.

It reaches a point where when it comes to my career, anything would do, b'cos they're so ordinary. I guess working at an MNC would look cool, 'cos i get to wear corporate suits and look fantastic. But after a while, it'll be the same starting point again - serving nothing but a function, and trying hard to look impressive. Then what? Isn't that what everyone else has been doing so far?

I was supposed to come up with a team name and tag line for my company. My team name is Greater Heights, and tag line is - "Lead the Way".

The Way refers to the "Dao (4)", or the path. Lead the Way refers to opening up a path of consciousness and guiding them to awakening. In layman's term, it means - "Showing people how their lives had been..... could be..... and should be....."

Honestly speaking... I'm not too sure if i can ever get to the point of integration nor stop feeling lost. I feel almost like drifting along with life.

Hope this feeling will end soon, and may i wake up each day feeling integrated, and living each moment extraordinarily. If not that, then what the f*ck am I doing here?

A message that kept me amused in the morning

2008-05-21T22:18:00.000-07:00

I'm super amused! =D

"HI THERE

am tony by name it a pleasure for to have come across ur profile. how as your day been,hope you have a nice cool day? and full of cheers,because i just like how u look cute with your cool smilling face,when i saw your pics,i wounder how its shine like a braided diamond.Your appearance admire mine emotional feeling which led my heart into undisclosed confession about urs pretty look,in fact u're more refer to an angel.You look like a morning star,u are portrait a sexy looking lady.if u don't mind i we like you to tell me alittle about your self and u can also send me me ur yahoo id or msn if u don't mind hope read from you soon "

Personality profile

2008-05-06T03:37:00.000-07:00

You Are An INTP The Thinker

You are analytical and logical - and on a quest to learn everything you can.
Smart and complex, you always love a new intellectual challenge.
Your biggest pet peeve is people who slow you down with trivial chit chat.
A quiet maverick, you tend to ignore rules and authority whenever you feel like it.

In love, you are an easy person to fall for. But not an easy person to stay in love with.
Although you are quite flexible, you often come off as aloof or argumentative.

At work, you are both a logical and creative thinker. You are great at solving problems.
You would make an excellent mathematician, programmer, or professor.

How you see yourself: Creative, fair, and tough-minded

When other people don't get you, they see you as: arrogant, cold, and robotic

I would make an excellent mathematician, or programmer??? OMG! >_<

Harold and Kumar Movie

2008-05-02T03:20:00.000-07:00

I just came back from watching Harold and Kumar with my affiliate marketing team, Rosli, Johnson and Merry.

We were supposed to meet up for our usual meeting, but i proposed an outing for all of us, since the energy and drive for work was super low this week.

Anyway, i was really glad we caught the movie. 'tis the 1st time i caught a GUY MOVIE!! >_< OMG, it's so different from those generic or blond movie flicks i used to watch. It just got me closer into what guys like to do.

Honestly speaking, it's not those kind of show i'd watch again, but the guys love it! yea... and the BEST part is........ Merry enjoyed herself!!! Hahahahaha....... OMG, if you know merry and you watched the movie yourself, you'd understand how i feel if I said I was very amused seeing her enjoy herself.

Hohoho... anyway, this week is a self-love week. I had a thai massage, caught a movie (when i'm supposed to work =P well, i still believe happy workers make productive workers. Heh), and I'm gonna crash a girls' party tonight at St. James' power house. Rock on!

I'm now reading this blog on how to make money online, for the 2nd time already. If you like, you can always check it out- http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2006/01/how-to-build-a-high-traffic-web-site-or-blog/

Hope to pick up a gd tip or two. If anyone has got any brilliant ideas on driving traffic online or increase gd affiliates, do share with me, ok?

And if you like reading blogs, check out these other 2 websites; the 1st one is on relationships and how to let go of relationships, while the other is a blog on the different ways to pick someone up from any situations in his/her life. Cheers!

http://www.pickmeuptoday.com

http://www.pickmeupteam.wordpress.com

The Passion Coach

2008-04-14T04:49:00.000-07:00

Something extreme happened to me today.

I was in my destructive mood earlier in the day, feeling really lousy that I was stuck at this point in my life for so long, without gaining the clarity on how to get out of my stuckness. The worst part was, I didn't know who I could turn to for help, and I kept feeling helpless about my sense of uselessness. It felt like other than my work, everything else in my world was in pieces and I felt dysfunctional. When I was in that state of self-destruction, it felt really terrible, and all i could see were walls, barriers and obstacles. No solution. I felt like giving up on myself and a part of me was dead.

Later in the evening, I met up with my coachee, Zee (Name is changed). At least, I was professional enough to block out and put aside my own shit and be strong for Zee. Before her TCC, she was someone depressed about life. She was stuck with self-doubt for the longest time, and dare not dream. If there were a few words to describe who she were, it would be that she was someone whom lost her passion about life. Today, almost 6 weeks after coaching her, she works hard on her dreams. She just showed me her art piece with raw passion, and she is filled with pride. For the 1st time after so long, she is living her dreams, she is fighting for her passion, she is strong enough to beat self-doubt. Her eyes sparkles as she shares with me her dream projects. As she gains more clarity each day about herself, she gains more wisdom and power from within.

I was overwhelmed by her passion. Isn't it ironic that I called myself, "The Passion Coach" and I lacked the passion in my life right now? It's so ironic that I was able to cause passion in her, among other coachees, but I lost faith in myself. Actually, coaching them wasn't that difficult. These ppl. lost their fight because they didn't believe in themselves. What I stood for them is faith. I believe in them. And as my belief in them was so great, over time, they worked on themselves and they grew stronger. Eventually, they began to believe in themselves so much more.

As I inspire Zee in some ways, she inspires me in return as well. After all, if I can believe in her, I can believe in myself too. If I can cause passion in someone else's life, I can cause passion in my life too.

Pick yourself up dear... never give up believing in yourself. Be "The Passion Coach".

Ps: if you like this story, you'll like this too. Go to http://www.pickmeuptoday.com

Wisdom says...

2008-03-24T22:37:00.000-07:00

Wisdom says...

The perception that your world is crashing and that you are not functional is an illusion. The world has not changed a single bit. Your perception of it shifting is causing you all these unnecessary suffering.

Just as much as I am tempted to just say, "Dun get too attach to your suffering. Just let go". I know it's not going to work for you now. Got it that you are uncertain about what's happening to you right now. Got it that you are not prepared for this to happen too. Got it that you don't have the stable platform right now. Got your struggling. Got that you're being misunderstood.

My dear, you will always be misunderstood. You will always be struggling. You will always be uncertain and you will always have self-doubt. Got it that you have difficulties expressing what you saw to others. They will always be there to accompany you in your journey of self-evolution.

What you need to get however, is that, you are equally equipped with clarity, awareness, wisdom, power and courage. If you blocked any of these, you cannot harness what lessons you need to learn from each obstacles you face. Each obstacle you are having right now, is specially designed for you such that you get what you need to get for you to move up to the next level.

The source of your suffering is that, instead of learning from these obstacles and learning from these lessons to get your "XP", you are being blinded by your haste. You think you need to resolve all these problems right away. You think you lack the power to make those happen. You think you can't do it. You think you are not ready for the world yet.

Duh, if you truly are not ready, you will not see what you see. You would not be having this conversation with me right now. It's precisely because you are ready, and that you have done your foundation right, that you have the clarity to see.

You are prepared. And you have the skills and abilities to make those happen.

BUT...

If you keep blinded by haste and feeling futile and incapable...

You will never truly harness the power within you.

The noises will always be there. Sometimes all it takes is for you to shut up, listen to these noises and observe.

These noises are there to warn you of the dangers lie ahead. They are there to keep you vigilant. Dun reject them. Watch... learn from them, instead of fighting them.

That's all i have to say to you. Well... looks like you need to pick yourself up and put things in place. Stop getting stuck. Go handle what you need to handle.

When you need me... I am always around. Dun just shout for help or feel that no one can help you. LISTEN to your voices and hear what they are warning you about. ; )

Till we chat again, go handle what you need to handle.

sigh... the day when i am not functional.

2008-03-24T22:26:00.000-07:00

I hate knowing the consequence of not doing something and the chain of effects that is going to happen if i don't do it.

I hate the feeling of being inadequate when i chose to do it. Knowing that I can do something about it but knowing I am not good enough to deal with it while choosing to deal with it, is killing me.

I hate the feeling of choosing not to do something and watching the chain of effects taking place in front of me.

I hate the feeling of unable to express myself to show others what is it I am seeing so that they get it as well. And above all, make them stop misunderstanding me.

I hate the noises in my head trying to justify maybe it's an illusion and it's all ego talk. They are so noisy I can't locate where wisdom is and have a good conversation with her to find out what exactly is the problem.

I know wisdom has a solution for me. Just that the mind's too noisy for me to find her and talk to her. Hope she comes find me soon.

Dun just give me awareness and clarity.

Give me the wisdom and capacity to contain all these fu*king things, and transcend them.

Psychosomatic symptoms

2008-03-12T03:34:00.000-07:00

A few examples of the emotions and limiting mindsets that are linked to the weakness in muscles and organs:

Heart - Heart break, grief, genetic tendencies for weak heart.
Lungs - Rage against Life and specific situations or individuals.
Bladder - Blocking personal power and strength.
Pancreas - Guilt, self punishment.
Spleen - Not connecting with the Body.
Liver - Hate being in the physical body.
Stomach - Self-disgust and fear, guilt and self-judgement.
Intestines - Limiting self-expression, despair, helplessness.
Neck Muscles - Feeling forced to live life in a certain way.
Trapeze/Shoulder Muscles - Over-responsibility for others, overwhelmed by life, wanting to give up.
Lower Back Muscles - Blocking personal power.
Lower Stomach Muscles - Feeling like a failure and giving up.
Sacrum - Running away from challenges and life.
Knees - Self Blame for not moving in life like you think you should..
Feet - Resistance to be on Mother Earth.
Sexual Reproductive Organs (Prostate,Womb, Ovaries) - Hate for female/male body and misusing sexual energies, fear of childbirth for women.

New updates

2008-03-04T19:10:00.000-08:00

Have not blogged for more than a month already. Getting too caught up with things >_<

Here's what I have been up to since last update:

1. Graduated from my 9-month basic leadership program

2. Dated/ Dating someone

3. Embark on another project on affiliate marketing for Pick Me Up. Check out www.pickmeuptoday.com ; )

4. Handling preview management

3. Managing Professional Coach Training Program 1

4. Attended and attending business coaching workshop (learning how to do business coaching, and set up business)

5. Went for Guerilla marketing lessons

6. Watched a couple of good movies. Kungfu Dunk was the best.

7. Went shopping and bought a couple new dresses

8. Caught up with old frens/ ex-boss (the little things I enjoy doing most after my BLP)

9. Assisted at wave 6 Basic Leadership Program (BLP) bootcamp

10. Went for wave 5 BLP graduation dinner

11. Collected a lot of ang baos during CNY as compared to previous year.

12. Celebrated my xiaomei's bday

13. Took on 2 coaching clients, and 2 buddy coachees/coaches

14. Spent time with family

15. School, meeting assignments deadlines. What else? =P

Looking forward to:
1. Having more resources (time, money, manpower, space)

2. More time with family & building intimate relationships

3. Graduation from SMU!

4. Settle down nicely in my full time job and getting stable, good income

5. More productivity, effectiveness, results & space at work

6. Gain new wisdom, insights, clarity & realizations

7. Set up my own business

8. Get my Associate Certified Coach Certification

9. New, exciting and rewarding relationships

10. Personal integration from post-BLP

11. Leading previews/ half-tech programs

12. Expand my world of consciousness to my own friends, especially those that truly matter to me

13. Still, work on the 4 projects (ECI, relationships, work/finance, community) and excel in them

14. Spending more time with close friends

15. More growth in different aspects of my life. Definitely can do with more wisdom, love, courage, clarity and awareness.

That's all for now! =)

The 21 Days that felt like a Year

2008-01-21T21:39:00.000-08:00

21 days into January 2008 - Here's what have been happening to me during these 3 weeks:

- Attended a 3-day leadership weekend camps
- Went M'sia with family
- 3-day The Courage to Create (TCC)Program
- 3rd week into my final semester at SMU
- Managed 7 TCC previews
- Assisting and coaching at Making Courage Work Program
- Co-authored, published, launched and sold 100 books, Pick Me Up, within 24 hours
- Embarked on another 24-hr challenge to sell 10,000 books
- Continued on another 72-hr challenge to sell 10,000 books to raise funds for charity
- Now doing the payment and order fulfillment tracking for the post-campaign

When Yixin is super stressed, overloaded with work, at her breaking point, she realized that she...

1. Barked at anyone whom gets into her way

2. Bitched, moaned and whined (BMW) at every opportunity she has

3. Feels sorry for herself

4. Fell asleep during morning classes while trying her best to stay awake

5. Sleep very little, like 2-3 hours a day

6. Slept alot, when she really do have the opportunity to sleep

7. Camped overnight at her dearest office many times in the week so she can avoid midnight cabs

8. Went for food therapy. Eat whatever her heart desired

9. Super low tolerance for anyone whom threw additional "shit" into her space. Either end in cat fights or threw the "dun-f*ck-with-me-look"

10. Distracts herself by organizing her laptop and creating folders

11. Distracts herself by doing anything but work

12. Avoid distractions and keep working

13. Keep sighing alot

14. Not bath or changed for days

15. Avoid people and back into her zombie-like-state

16. Keep promoting her book, Pick Me Up, at every opportunity she has

17. Felt like crap and wanna threw in the towel

18. Tries her best to cheer people up. B'cos to cheer ppl. up, she gotta cheer herself up 1st.

19. Miss her family, dates, friends alot... so she took up her calendar and scheduled all these appointments for herself to welcome some fun back

20. Did her best to appear "invisible" so her profs would not recognize that she was late for morning classes

21. Tried to enroll her profs to buy her book so they would excuse her for classes. Afterall, it's for a good cause.

Did i mention it's only 21 days for January? It felt like I've just lived thru an entire year itself.

Alright... enuff distractions for me.

Back to work again...

Bet you have never tried so many roles in 1 week

2008-01-19T10:39:00.000-08:00

The 72-hour book campaign is now officially over. Fret not if you still want to purchase the book. You may still do so at www.pickmeup-book.com Only difference is that only 20%, instead of 60% of the net proceeds will be donated to Make-A-Wish-Foundation. The remaining $$ will go towards a pooled fund to set up a social enterprise.

I really learnt a lot these 7 days ever since the whole book campaign began.

Here's a list of all the roles I've tried during these 7 days:

1) Overall in-charge for editorial team on 12 Jan, sat. As OIC, i had to ensure that the editorial team edit the 42 stories impeccably and forward to the chief editors to do up the final drafts, whilst ensuring that all these are completed within the deadline given to me

2) Blogger: Ensure the audience and our beloved supporters get the latest updates by the hour. It's a real madness blogging by the hour, i tell you. In admist of all the "shit" thrown around because ppl. are rushing deadlines, I have to learn how to stick to my deadline and not get distracted. Also, I have to be creative.

3) Editor: That was before I was suddenly made an editorial OIC. I had to edit others' stories. OMG!

4) Sales Order and Orders Fulfillment IC: I learnt how as an IC, i really should function like a commander, and delegate tasks out to ppl., instead of trying to do everything by myself >_<

5) Sales calls: Calling all my contacts and getting them to support me in the book campaign!

6) Payment tracking: This is one shitty job i wun wanna do again in the future. Imagine you have ppl paying you for the books via paypal, internet banking, atm transfer, nets, cheque, cash... and you gotta be able to account for every single transaction. TRY ACCOUNTING FOR > 2K books. I tell you again.......this is >_< JOB!

7) Sales Order Tracking: Another >_< job, after payment tracking. Gotta make sure that you know exactly how many sales are in and for what kind of books. Currently, ppl. can place orders via website, phone calls (there're many sales ppl around so you need to keep track of their sales orders), sms, and emails. You will need a consolidated sheet for all the sales that the whole team has made so far.

8) Cashier: Collecting all cash payments, nets and issuing receipts. Probably that's the only job i enjoyed doing most, issuing receipts! hahaha.... but i'm both the cashier and the payment tracking IC so that is erm... >_<

9) Welfare IC: Ensure that while the team is so caught up with meeting deadlines, I take care of their welfare by providing them with drinks, choc chip and paddle pop ice-cream!

10) Customer service: Handle all queries, orders made via sms and emails. Also, handle the COMPLAINTS! OMG! >_<

11) Fulfillment IC: Ensure ebooks are emailed to ppl. on time so they wun think that we are a scam or something

12) Public Relations: I tried (not much) calling up the radio stations to tell them that we've got such an exciting news!

I think i really have learnt A LOT in a week.

Words of Wisdom

2008-01-16T21:29:00.000-08:00

“Sometimes the life we live do not belong to us. It is an amalgam of others’ intentions as well as popular dreams that are trendy at the moment.”

So what does it take to find yourself and live the life you want?

What does it take to have the courage and wisdom to seek the truth about your life?

To find out how 42 people from all walks of life manage to “Pick Themselves Up” and live their dreams, Order your “Pick Me Up” Book Now!

To read more on the amazing global charity campaign, please go to www.pickmeup-book.com

Each book you purchase, 60% of the net proceeds will go to the children of "Make a Wish Foundation" to help them fulfill their last wishes.

The remaining proceeds will go to a trust fund to set up a social enterprise.

Have you always thought of making a difference to others or the world?

Wait no longer, here's an opportunity for you to do so... Make your donation directly HERE.

The 24-hour Challenge!

2008-01-13T11:07:00.000-08:00

11 January 2008, 5:15pm

42 people embarked on an impossible task of producing an e-book for the first time. What took others months or years, they took a mere 24 hours to make it happen! Not only did they produce the book (Pick Me Up Book)within a day, they also managed to hit 100 pre-orders on the same day.

And on Sunday, 13 January 2008, 1.11pm SG Time, the same team started another outrageous 24-hour campaign to sell 10,000 copies of Pick Me Up book. This time round, they are going to donate 20% of the proceedings to the Make A Wish Foundation.

They want to bring a message to the world that dreams can become reality. The book costs $49.97 but for a limited time offer, we are bringing down to price to $9.97.

CLICK HERE to watch us do the "Impossible" for Charity!

Theme for year 2008

2008-01-01T08:18:00.000-08:00

YEAR 2007

2007-12-26T05:25:00.000-08:00

In year 2006, my theme was love, wisdom and courage. For year 2007, my theme was performance, effectiveness and results. Here's a summary of 2007 for me...

Accomplishments for 2007:

1) Managed an organization single-handedly for 2 1/2months, where I had to do accounts, managed 4 programs, ran errands (like settle bills and all), coached 3 clients, on top of managing my full time studies and 2 tuition kids. OMG! I can't believe I survived >_<

2) Did program management for Principles of Seduction * 2, Professional Coach Training Program I * 2, Professional Coach Training Program II, Freedom in Money, Basic Leadership Program * 2, Enterprise Operative, Deep Processing * 2... that's 11 programs in total! As a part-time staff, I assisted my org in bringing more than $140K revenue.

3) Was Preview Manager for Preview to The Courage to Create * 8, Power Memory Coaching Program, Preview to Basic Leadership Program * 3... that's 12 previews! Personal Enrollment ratio was 20% (lowest record) to 100% (highest record), with average of 46%.

4) Directly coached 10 clients. Got a good mix of business owners, financial planner, students, VP of local govt. org., real estate

5) Took The Courage to Create Program with sec sch close friend and brother

6) Paid/ subsidize my mum and brother to take Energy Experience Camp, where we openly express and acknowledge our love for each other. Since then, our relationships improved tremendously.

7) Conducted a mini coaching program for 3 O'level students. Taught 5 students this year.

8) Increased my allowance by 200%.

9) Did Course Supervisor for The Courage to Create Program * 2, Preview to the Courage to Create, and Making Courage Work

10) Had the most numbers of breakdowns in my life. The accomplishments was I survived thru all of them! hahaha =D

11) Gain my independence as a daughter! Whoopey!

12) Relationships with family improved

13) Was Course Supervisor Coach for a short time. I want to acknowledge my effort, time and energy for that. Actually, i want to acknowledge my courage too =P

14) Project Manager for coaching book (still in progress)

15) Spent the least amount of time in my studies this year as compared to my previous 4 years in university. But i maintained my grades. Actually, I improved my grades as compared to last year on the whole. Wow! (but dun ask me how I did that)

16)Softened a lot. Communication and interpersonal skills improved.

17) Still have the same close friends as last year. In fact, my social life expanded.

18) Took Basic Leadership Program, an intensive 9-month program. From 17, we're down to 12 participants, and I'm one of the survivors. Hahaha... sigh... dunno whether to laugh or cry... heh =P

19) Broke my personal record of longest hours of sleep. I managed to sleep 18 hours straight. That's an accomplishment. Try beating that.

20) Served my internship at NCS Hub.

21) Sign up for Violin class! Been wanting to do that for years, finally pursued my dreams.

22) I am 22 this year. Turning 23 years old in a few days time.

Shall blog a separate entry for resolutions for 2008. In a nutshell, 2007 has been the most productive year in my life. This week, I am giving myself a break. I deserved it. zzz...

The Dilemma

2007-12-15T04:25:00.000-08:00

To laugh is to risk looking foolish
To cry is to risk looking sentimental
To relate is to risk being involved
To show your feelings is to risk being rejected
To make your dreams known is to risk ridicule
To love is to risk not being loved
To go forward against all odds, is to risk failure

But risks should be taken.
Because the greatest danger of all in Life is risking nothing.
Someone whom doesn't risk
Does nothing, has nothing, is nothing,

If you ask me what I came to do in this world,
I will answer you:

I came to remind you of who you ARE and what you can BE.

Games I give up

2007-12-06T21:08:00.000-08:00

Today is PCTP 1 1st day.

Got another tick off by him again, and got chased out of the room.

I'm sick and tired of:
- my indifference
- giving my powers away to ppl.
- not having a stand for myself
- not even trying to explain myself
- attracting scoldings all the time
- saying the wrong things at the wrong time to the wrong person at the wrong place
- me telling myself to just accept the other person's comments
- playing the "being nice" game
- playing "miss diplomacy" game
- playing "stupid" game
- feeling so much unrealized potential
- getting f*ck all the time
- having lack of slp
- not having the drive to work on resource conversation
- not wanting to do anything
- my inconsistency
- giving up the fight
- wanting to make my mentors look good, therefore i dun bother to contradict them
- me not being highest self

I feel like having a gd rest.

After the gd rest, I shall fight.

To all these parts of me that sabotage me again and again from being a warrior of light,

I'm really sick and tired of all of you. You dun serve me at all.

You will die again to my highest self with wisdom.

New games to play:
- enough rest
- consistency
- corporate deals
- rainmaker
- smart
- being at the right place at the right time saying the right things to the right ppl
- standing up for myself
- accepting and honoring my powers and that i'm powerful
- warrior of light ==> fight lah!

Updates for November

2007-11-26T02:04:00.000-08:00

Nov's coming to an end!

Here's an update on my happenings for this month!

1) I went for visions & clarity course; it's a once a week workshop. Supposedly, we have to do daily exercises to relax the eye muscles and strengthen the eye sight. Surprisingly, despite not keeping up to the daily exercises, my vision improved by 15%. Looking forward to the deeper processes.

2) I'm leading a preview for the 1st time, on 30 Nov, fri, and the theme is "The Courage to Create your Amazing life". Need to mock 60 hours for this preview >_< looking forward and dreading it at the same time. OMG!

3) I was the preview manager for 3 Basic leadership program(BLP) previews for Wave 6, and together with my wave 5 ppl, we managed to hit our targets 3 times! Hohoho! Got 24 leaders-in-training for wave 6 and their 1st weekend camp is coming up soon. Super duper exciting!!!

4) I'm beginning to stabilize more and take on more responsibilities in my workplace. Really love my work despite the challenges i face.

5) Have new breakthroughs with my brother. Felt his deep love for me and vice versa.

6) Caught up with old fren and he's coming down to my preview on fri. Looking forward to it!

7) Went for "A Millionaire Mindset" last sun at Expo that had 5000pax and got to network with the ppl there. The hunting, *cough* networking experience was qte interesting, and confronting at the same time.

8) Went for "Secret wealth strategies of millionaire" preview early Nov, and got some interesting insights of how ppl run their previews. =D

9) Attended Enterprise Operative workshop, and it was great! Learnt how to avoid burnt out and be an effective executive. Very useful skills indeed.

10) Went for preview leading trainings for 2 full days and it was very fun! The koan towards the end was my biggest takeaway. I love this koan. Perhaps i would blog an entry on my insights to human condition soon.

11) My coaching client managed to hit the results that she was supposed to achieve in 7 weeks, within 4weeks. So proud of her!

12) Finally cleared with SW after a long long time. Phew!

13) Fell sick. Down with cough, flu and fever. Stressed out sia... with preview leading coming up. I am so confronted. But excited too.

14) Got myself 2 new job lobangs that allow me to manage the corporates. This is definitely gonna be a real stretch for me. Super duper confronting but looking forward to playing this corporate game. I want to be a rainmaker! =)

Peep into December:

1) Project management for an e-book, FAQs on Coaching. Imagine you co-authoring a book together with 11 other friends. It's gonna be a WOW experience.

2) I'll be managing Professional Coach Training Program, Enterprise Operatives and Jan's The Courage to Create Programs.

3) Going for a well-deserved sponsored trip to Phuket/ Bali for 1 week

4) Visiting grandfather in m'sia

5) Celebrating my 23rd B'day!

6) Attending a presentation workshop

7) Catching up with close friends!!!

8) Attending X'mas party!

9) SLEEP. REST. SLACK. RUN MORE EFFECTIVELY & FASTER!

10) Spend lotsa quality time with family

If you would like to have the Courage to Create Your Amazing Life, come down for 30th November preview. Reserve your seat today. I've got 2 more tickets. ; )

Updates for October

2007-10-28T13:53:00.000-07:00

Events in October:
1) Attended Basic leadership program (BLP) 2nd weekend camp on 1st week of oct (3 full days).

2) 2nd week of oct I took up Course Supervisor role for The Courage to Create (TCC) program (3 full days, excluding logistic setup, creation meeting for assisting team and training for Team leader)

3) 3rd week of Oct I assisted in an advance program called, Principles of Seduction, for 4 days.

4) I took up 2 coachees for this cycle of Making Courage Work (MCW) program.

5) Tutee's taking her O'level. This month i've been focusing in her revision.

My space lately:
1) Very worn out and stretched. though i'm still progressing, my actions were sluggish

2) Been extremely "off" lately; was in my super BLUR mode and a handful of hiccups. That happened when I lacked slp =(

3) Psychologically more stable and stronger. I've finally picked myself up and committed to running faster and more efficiently in the 4 projects than the 1st 4 1/2 months in BLP. I want growth and expansion in performance, effectiveness and results for the 4 projects. For project 2 and 3, which is relationships and finance/work/studies, I intend for a total of at least 300% increase in growth.

4) Became very aware of my blind-spots and areas in my life that I need to hone. sigh, suddenly realized I've got so many things I need to work on. Esp to overcome my complacency and laziness. This quote is very apt, "When complacency breeds, danger multiples".

5) What I got out of TCC assisting as a Course Supervisor is - "Walk the Talk". As a leader/ coach, if you cannot walk the talk and pull off results in your life, there's no way you can inspire and create magic in your coachees' lives.

6) What I got out of POS as an assistant is to locate the source of all my issues for the last 4 1/2 months, and about "owning the space". When you own the space, you step into the room feeling stronger sense of ownership and power.

October's coming to an end! Hoorey! =) Looking forward to November where more Exciting events await me -

1) Farewell party (gonna meet new ppl!)

2) Visions and Clarity (a processing that improves short-sightedness)

3) BLP wave 6 (I can start recruiting the next batch of leaders)

4) Enterprise Operatives (where I learn how to operate in enterprises)

5) A visit to salon!

6) Preview leader mock trainings (wan2 be trained to lead previews and programs)

7) Quality rest (I need this!)

All in due time! =)

Make it or Breakit

2007-09-24T21:02:00.001-07:00

It had been a really confronting and long night for me. It was either a "make it" or "break it" as I tried to answer why I should still hold on.

Qns: Why are you still in this BLP?

Ans:

1. B'cos I've only just began my BLP, instead of wave 5's BLP.

2. To find the magic within me again

3. To leave a magical touch wherever I go, in whatever I do.

4. I've yet to be the leader i strive to be - humble and inspirational.

5. To sustain joy in admist of all the hardship.

6. To serve the world.

7. B'cos I made a conscious choice every single moment.

I acknowledge myself for not giving up the fight. Thank you for willing to give yourself a second chance.

PS: BLP stands for basic leadership program.

The Cub on her rollercoaster ride

2007-09-19T22:11:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time since I called myself a cub.

Been a jaguar for too long since early this year. realized i'm most myself as a cub, the fearless and insignificant cub. that's where my true powers lie, acknowledging and accepting my own insignificance and stop trying to be someone BIGGER than who I really am.

Acknowledging my fears, weaknesses and insignificance allows me to free up alot of energy, allows me to accept myself for who i am and am not, allows me to accept others for who they are and see them for what it is, allows me to focus on walking the path of inspiration and humility, be clarity and wisdom, be courage and love.

I love myself most this week.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~LOVE~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Rollercoaster ride this week:

sometimes I am confused
sometimes I am clarity
sometimes I am blur
sometimes I am wisdom
sometimes I am lazy
sometimes I am efficiency
sometimes I am a coachee
sometimes I am the coach
sometimes I am powerless
sometimes I am powerful
sometimes I am tired
sometimes I am energy
sometimes I am my worst enemy
sometimes I am my highest self
sometimes I am procrastination
sometimes I am NOW
sometimes I am limitations
sometimes I am MAKE IT HAPPEN
sometimes I am bitch
sometimes I am GET OVER IT

sometimes I shift gears so fast, I forgot who's the driver.
sometimes I am the driver in control of my gears.

sometimes I am all of these
sometimes I am none at all

but........ always cute. =P

back to chop wood carry water climb hill again.

Reformat.

Advanced level.

Start.

What's cool this week?

2007-09-11T21:55:00.000-07:00

1. I cut my hair!

2. I'm gonna make contact lenses. Yes, finally. =P

3. My cool guy asked me out for a movie!

4. I found a formula that allows me to snap myself out of a breakdown cycle faster n more efficiently.

5. My bro's taking Power Memory Coaching Program

6. I tried 2 new things in my wave meetings.

7. Gonna catch up with my close friend this week. Haven't done that like ages.

Really cool! =)

Conversations that I ran my life with lately

2007-09-02T23:19:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I last blogged. Too many things happened. Life's been really fast-paced. Here's some of the conversations that I've run my life with lately:

1) Who should I be? Which me should I be?

2) It's time for system upgrade.

3) I want to destroy my life. Please let me kill myself (ego).

4) The only master I serve is myself.

5) And I serve the world.

6) Yixin the leader is an elitist. Yixin the coach is compassionate. Why do I always draw the line so clearly? Hmph...

7) What're my strengths and weaknesses as a leader?

8) How can I be more graceful in my delivery?

9) How can I be more empowering than overpowering as a leader?

10) How can I grow as a leader?

11) How can I score more reality points?

12) How can I sustain my joy despite all the breakdowns?

13) How can I increase standards? How should I devise the training guide? How should I champion the growth of others in the manner they can learn best in?

14) How can I add value to others?

15) What support do the rest need most at this point?

16) How can I catch myself faster each time I got unconscious and overwhelmed by responsibilities?

17) How can I stop bearing the world's burden on my shoulders?

18) How can I meet up to my dad's expectations? How can I make him happier? How to improve our relationship like my mum's and bro's?

19) How can I be more attractive? How can I attract the people/things I want very easily?

20) How to tell ppl. to stop looking up to me and start believing more in their powers?

21) Why do I always reject that I am powerful? How can I accept my power?

22) How to be soft and powerful and graceful and attractive all at once? Hmph...

23) Why am I always asking so many questions?

24) How can I be a rainmaker?

25) How can I sustain the moment when I'm align as ONE with myself and the Universe always?

26) How can I win myself?

27) How can I sustain unconditional love and acceptance all the time?

28) How can I fork out more time to catch up with my sisters and close frens?

29) Why can't I just be small and weak? Why do ppl. always expect me to be powerful or push me in a position where I have to be powerful?

30) How may I exceed targets all the time?

31) How can I get all the answers to my questions?

Yup, my life is FOS at the moment. Realized that my old system really doesn't serve me well. And there's a part of me that wants to destroy my life (system)when all the vulnerabilities of my OS have been exposed. Ouch!

It's time for system upgrade. My tagline used to be "Make it Happen!"

Now, my tagline is, "Get over it." =)

A reminder

2007-08-12T19:15:00.000-07:00

This blog entry is to remind myself...

that i love my father.

that my father loves me too.

that everything i learnt out there is to better our relationship.

that today is the day i apply what i have learnt.

no matter what happens, be fully responsible for my actions and their consequences.

Survey

2007-08-01T01:10:00.000-07:00

Found this on my er mei's blog. It's been a long time since i did one, so here goes:

1) Have you had your birthday yet?
Not yet for this year. It's end of the year. ; )

2) Are you still the same person as you last year?
Yes and no. Yes as in i'm still as petitie as last year, only cuter this year. *so not shy* =P

3) Are you still in the same job?
Of 'cos! Though for my internship, it's coming to an end this friday.

4) Is your favourite colour the same colour?
I dun have a fave colour, my philosophy for colours is that it depends on the objects n my mood. Though my bro. will claim otherwise. He thinks that I always pick red and black, color of ECI. >_< 5) Have you got the same style/colour hair?
Nope! I've got a new hair cut on mon, and dye-ing my hair soon! Hohoho!

6) Have you brought a new car this year?
Nope! I wan2 be driven around. Heh =P

7) How many Ex girlfriends/boyfriends have you had this year?
2. No ex-gfs yet.

8) Have you been involved with the police this year?
Yup, got chased out of The Tanamera. Sigh... need to find an office space asap.

9) All time drinking place for 2007?
It's the company that matters. I'd go for pubs along clarke quay/ boat quay.

10) Is your best friend still your bestfriend?
Yes. But I forgot to tell her she still is. Shall make a point to remind her on her b'day.

11) Got any tattoos or piercings this year?
Nope, but i did eyebrow embroidery! I'm super proud of myself for the courage, 'cos I did mine without researching wad the heck is eyebrow embroidery nor knew whether it'll turn out nice.
Keeping your intention strong that you're gonna have beautiful eyebrow helps. What you intend will manifest in your reality ; )

12) Had a hair cut?
Yea yea... i told my hair stylish to give me a different style this time. I was hoping for smt. more punk/funky/fun/stylish BUT I said I'll leave it to him to style. Turns out to be still so demure-looking. >_<

13) Waxed any part of your body this year?
Haven't tried yet. Would be great to try it sometime soon. Must find kakis so we can scream together! Hahaha... *so evil* =P

14) Been in hospital this year?
Nope!

15) Lost someone you cared about this year?
Yup, lost a friendship. Sigh... wish he'll understand my intentions and amend our friendship when he's straightened his thoughts. =(

16) Been on a holiday this year?
Not yet!!! Though i've been on holiday mood several times this year. I wan2 go on a trip soon, in dec! Wan2 join me? Hee~

17) Been in love this year?
What is love? Alrighty, to ans it in a non-philosophical manner...
The ans is yes and no. It depends on the context. Alright, I get it, i'm still being philosophical... =P

18) Been kicked out of a Club this year?
Thankfully no.

19) Read a book this year?
You got to be kidding, of 'cos! Since 2 months ago, I've read Ender's game, The Manual of the Warrior of Light, Atlas Shrugged and Harry Potter latest book!
Harry Potter's the BEST! You gotta READ it man! The BEST of J.K.Rowling series, says me.

20) Worst thing happened this year?
Overwhelmed with too much work. Breakdowns are getting pretty normal these days... =(

21) Best thing that happened this year?
Alot leh... lemme count the blessings...
(a) Ah ming, Brother, and myself taking TCC together.
(b) Brother acknowledging my love for him
(c) Breakthroughs in my performance
(d) Taking BLP with a bunch of great ppl.
(e) Me finally fulfilling my violin dream
(f) Having more money to spend
(g) Realizations I have had so far, esp. the leadership conversation of being humble n inspirational
(h) Having a clear sense of direction for my career, n making a commitment to myself
(i) Trying out alot of things for the 1st time, and learning lots from others
(j) ... ... ...

22) Best thing to happen this year?
Too much to list here. I've created a wish list already. Just to summarize all in one word -
LOVE.

Got time to complain, got time to do work

2007-07-30T19:10:00.000-07:00

I'm really tired. And I have to manage a preview in 2 days time.

No, actually i need to manage the preview now.

Things are not going our way. The resistance is growing stronger.

I need to pull myself up in the shortest time possible.

FIM is this weekend. I still need 4 more pax before I hit my target.

I need to pull myself up in the shortest time possible.

*sigh*

There're always things to be done, and battles to fight.

*sigh*

A mysterious voice: (Got time to complain, got time to do work)

>_<

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q : What are you truly afraid of?

A: I'm afraid of having fears. 'cos it means I have to channel my energy into locating the source of the fears to regain my clarity and resolving the fear itself, instead of spending the energy doing work.

My 1st time

2007-07-23T00:11:00.000-07:00

A lot of "new stuffs" in my life last week:

1) Bought new facial products

2) Went for eyebrow embroidery for the 1st time

3) Bought a new t-shirt, which is really cool n chic-looking

4) Gave my bro. a movie treat for the 1st time

5) Clocked OT for the 1st time for my Internship (I finally felt like a true intern! it's like you're never an intern until you worked OT.)

6) Received Harry Potter's latest book on sat (special delivery at 10am!)

7) Went for violin class for the 1st time

8) Tried durian with Nutella for the 1st time

9) Bought a new bag!

10) Annouced to the wave that I'm the new Operations Manager (OM) for preview management.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Monday blues...

I am so tired... I just wan2 sleep...

zzz

Recent Realizations

2007-07-17T01:44:00.000-07:00

Recently, I've been through qte a few breakdowns. And these are my recent realizations out of those events.

1) Isn't it amazing that sometimes you were mulling over an issue, and you attracted someone into your life and she said something out of the blue that seems like a solution to your issue? I got one such experience during the weekend energy camp.

2) My bro. finally received and acknowledged my love for him. =)

3) I finally realized why I was so tired lately. Been carrying too much conversation within me and those conversations sapped my energy away. I was not vigilant enough. Get over it.

4) I used to wonder why others have such a high expectations on me. I used to hate that. But now I realized it's b'cos I always demand the best of myself, and they're merely reacting to the vibes I sent out. Morale of the story- There's really nothing to complain about. I ask for it.

5) As a coach, having clarity is very important. During those times when I'm stuck, learn to trust others to either give me listening space to regain my clarity, or trust another coach to coach me out of my issue. And yes, even coaches have times when they got stuck. In those occasions, you need to gain your clarity back. So request for support!

6) Learn to let go. If you're too attached to certain responsibility, you're depriving others the opportunity to learn and grow. Similarly, you're depriving yourself the opportunity to learn a different method from them. It may be true that your method is more effective. But because you allowed yourself to learn from others, you may notice a creative method of doing the same task.

7) By not acknowledging you and taking you for granted, others have embedded their acknowledgments for you. It's b'cos you've done such a great job that others have learnt to take you for granted. The question is- do you have the heart and eyes to receive and recognize an acknowledgement?

8) It is those whom have yet to accept themselves as beautiful that would go, "Really meh?" or , "You sure?" whenever someone gives them a compliment. Have you accepted yourself that you're beautiful and pretty?

9) There's no need to rush or push things. Everything has its own timing. Just be inspiration and your intentions will manifest in your life.

10) There're 2 powerful forces in the world. One is positive and the other is negative. One has the ability to create and the other, to destruct. Let your conversations be those that create and inspire others.

11) What is it like to do things with one heart? No more inner conflicts nor contradicting yourself. No more "I want, but...", or "I dun really know if I want it that badly enough". Life becomes a "You say you want it, and you get it." Yea, be ONEHEART.

12) What is it like to love someone and chat with him with no "conversations racing through your mind" and "expectations"?
The answer is enjoyment.

13) If you want something, open your mouth and ask.
And remember to ask at the right time.

14) Sometimes you wore too many masks that the masks become who you are and you got confused. Always remember- everything's just a role and a game.
Who are you? Who's the default me?
Just recall the feeling when everything seems to align as ONE. No conversations. No expectations. No conflicts. The space where every part of you resonates as ONE.

15) Learn to self-heal. When the body is aching or feeling not in equilibrium, ask this question, "What is my body trying to tell me?" And listen to your heart.

16) 16 is the number of participants whom will be taking 4-6 August 2007, Freedom In Money (FIM). Let's Make It Happen!

17) 17 is the name of my Basic Leadership Program (BLP) wave. Each of us, including the one whom left, has a purpose to fulfill in this BLP. Have you found yours?

18) My performance pattern come in spikes. One moment I am super high, the next moment I'd be down with depression. The question is- How fast can I pick myself up for the next High? What preventive measures can I set for myself during my lows? What support do I need to get back on my feet asap?

19) What can you acknowledge yourself for?

20) The age I took The Courage to Create.

21) What would Inspiration and Wisdom say at this point?

22) Everyone is a reflection of me, and an opportunity for me to accept and honor other parts of myself that I've yet to do so.

Confessions

2007-07-06T02:02:00.000-07:00

Conversations off my mind:

1) i'm so, so in love with you... (singing the song, so in love)

2) Sometimes I doubt if it's worth waiting for you at all 'cos you never gave any commitment of any sort. But i'll still wait anyway, 'cos I want to. =)

3) I want to say I mind alot when you ask your friend along on our date. But I'm too proud to tell you that.

4) I also want to say i actually regard you more than just a friend. But you're also the last person i'll admit to. And I wish you feel the same way about me too. Only difference is that I want to know. =P

5) Stupid ego is talking very loudly.

6) Who is John Galt? I wish i can jumped straight to page 500 of Atlas Shrugged. In fact, make that the last page.

7) I'm looking forward to our wed's date.'

8) I want to achieve OUR GOAL for coming TCC preview next thurs. In fact, make that all previews.

9) The words, "strong", "serious", "hard", "inflexible"... still trigger me alot. Darn.

10) I wish i can get a new desktop. But i'm just so unwilling to pay.

11) I want to have a holiday trip in dec., but i also not willing to spend the money.

12) I'm also not willing to take midnight cabs anymore.

13) I've got alot of work to do now in my internship. I ask for it.

14) I'm proud of working at ECI.

15) Can someone be both sophisticated and cute/innocent-looking at the same time?

16) I want to sleep.

17) It's knock off time. Bye! Hohoho... time to meet dz n dianna at Timber.

My weekend fun

2007-07-01T19:55:00.000-07:00

My weekend was fabulous. It's been a while since I've got some fun injected into my life.

Sat
I spent time with family in the morning. Tuition in the afternoon got postponed so I spent my entire afternoon catching up on my slp... woke up to have dinner (that dad & bro bought for me 'cos they could tell how tired I was) and then head back to slp again. OMG! I miss those days when I just sleep whole day and slacking. I mean, when's the last time I actually slacked and felt good slacking?

At night, I head over tanah merah to help Lin and Teng in the packing. We're moving ECI office! Hoorey! Brand new start for the organization expansion!

The 3 ladies caught Transformers at midnight. It was the 1st time I caught a midnight show and I was quite amused to see such a crowd! According to both the ladies, Transformers is a freaking good movie. For me, I love those convertibles.

After that, dave and his fren, Kit, joined us for supper. We chatted through the night b4 heading back office again for further packing till 6am, sun morning.

Sun
Met up with Simin and Eileen at orchard. 'tis the 1st time we hang out and it was fun!!! i bought my violin finally!!! Hoorey, I can finally fulfill my violin dream. The 3 gals shopped a little, crapped alot and we caught Nancy Drew!!! OMG! i love this movie! The guy's so CUTE! and Nancy Drew's pretty too =P I brought the gals to "The Better Toy Place" at Taka, 'cos I knew they'd love it. True enough, we had fun at that place! Nice.

Pity I had to part with them to join my sisters for yan's b'day celebration. I was late (what's new?). When I arrived at Indonesian Riverside Restaurant, a BIG FISH-HEAD with a flower on its lips welcomed my arrival. >_< The things my sisters do. Aiyo...

After dinner, we head over to tcc to chill. There were 5 gals and 2 guys. And the poor guys had to sit through our gals' gossips through the night, deprived of attention, as the gals gossiped about our romantic lives and boys and guys and relationships and match-making and guys and boys and romantic lives and again and again.

Hhahahaha.... I miss such brainless gossiping about guys. Really had so fun last night. Miss my sisters alot. *muacks*

July has been a great start for me. Intend that it ends with a high note too =)

Musing

2007-06-25T22:17:00.000-07:00

Dreams

It's really weird to realize how my dreams drop hints of my future. It's like one day out of the blue I did something and an old dream began to make sense. In fact, on a separate day, I said smt to someone, and I suddenly had the key to access another part of that same dream. Suddenly, eveything just fits.

How about having another dream that teaches you a lesson? I unintentionally dumped shit on a friend last night. In my dream, someone else dumped the same shit on me and I was the victim. I woke up feeling the what-the-heck-just-happened-to-me emotions.

My only feedback to my dream-maker is that next time it'll be so much better to let me dream the dates and times of the events, especially anything to do with striking the lottery.

Love

A friend asked, "Where can you find most amount of love?"

I replied, "Within me."

It is the love from within that allows me to view the world with loving eyes, to perceive, receive and give love because I can recognize when I see it.

Professional Coach Training Program 1

I took it over the 24-25June weekend. One of the issues I used as part of a coaching exercise was to earn my desired salary when I graduate next year. The objective of the coaching exercise is to arrive at a desired outcome within 15mins of the conversation.

My coach-partner: Your boss is the master coach. How come you never ask him to coach you?

Coachee (Me): ... ... ...

I dunno which one tickles me more -

That my coach-partner got bored towards 5 mins of the conversation and invite me to receive coaching from my boss directly...

or That it never dawned on me before to request coaching from my boss/mentor directly.

OMG! >_<

Overcoming Fear

It's strange how one attracts the same lessons until he/she learns the meaning of the lessons and transcend beyond the lessons themselves.

I tried so hard to avoid learning how to do up sophisticated charts using excel. (Yes, i did an excel module before and i actually survived through without doing any charts. It's called principles of seduction.) I got the I-am-so-not-good-with-technical stuffs, and doing anything related to charts thingy tend to leave me incapicitated. In fact, I survived 4 years of university life without doing any of those charts at all, despite majoring in ISM and mktg.

I just had a i-had-it-coming kinda feeling the moment I had a new supervisor in my internship company. True enough, the 1st assignment she gave me was something to do with excel, and generating those "chim chim" charts.

I learnt how to manipulate those charts today to my favor. Can anyone imagine that? OMG!

Again, i dunno which one tickles me more -

That I am amused at myself for not knowing how to do a simple thing like charts, or that i'm amused at myself for being so happy picking up the skill.

hahaha.......... =p

Interesting Quotes

2007-06-18T01:06:00.000-07:00

To my coachees, and a self-reminder:

- Sometimes when you say "yes" to others, you're saying "no" to yourself.

- The warrior of light sometimes wonder, "why did i labor for so long over a battle that could have been resolved with only half the energy i spent on it?"
The truth is that all problems seem very simple once they have been resolved. The great victory, which appears so simple today, was the result of a series of victories that went unnoticed.

adapted from the Manual of the Warrior of Light, Paulo Coelho

The Heart of Excellent Service

2007-06-17T18:17:00.000-07:00

It's been quite sometime since i was an assistant, n getting involved in the doing of things during events.

I remember when i used to be an assistant, i took on each task with alot of joy.

I remember putting my best effort with fervor in making a difference to the participants, knowing that no matter how small my tasks seem to be, I want and can make a difference to others, even if it means helping out with the logistics at the back of the room.

As I studied in Julz's "School of Excellence" n Eng hao's "School of Impeccability" for my Course Supervisor and Team leader trainings, I learnt alot about discipline and excellency from them.
My best trainings came from them, and I honor both my mentors.

However, I began to realize something is greatly missing in my leadership style recently. Somehow, along the way, I got a bit jaded. More often than not, I took on the leadership positions because I knew I could perform the job well, and also because there weren't many ppl whom were ready enough to take on these leadership positions.

During this The Courage to Create (TCC)'s assisting over the weekend made me realize one thing - Beneath a great leader lies great service.

Coming from an assistant point of view made me see clearer what kind of leader I can be, which is providing the best experience for both participants and the assisting team. I no longer put "getting the job done impeccably or doing my role with excellence" as my focus anymore.

The Goal I set from now on for myself as a leader - To Provide Excellence Service.
And impeccability, integrity, intention, intelligence, invisibility, zen, alacrity and discipline are by-the-way thingy. All actions, tasks and roles, forward us towards providing an excellence service.
Along the way, humility and compassion towards the assistants come in, as I forward the team towards providing an excellence service.

Not forgetting, of 'cos, with this unforgettable (and painful) training from Kelvin last thurs after MCW about never allowing compassion at the expense of the company's resources, I also learnt how to be creative in providing an excellent service without wasting the company's resources.
Hehehe... =P

So, I formally declare the opening of my own school of thought/training/whatever-you-called-it : "The School of Excellent Service".

Enrollment begins today. If you, like me, believe that beneath a great leader lies excellence service, I welcome you to enrol with us today.

The Enrollment criteria are as follows:
1) Commitment to results
2) Dedication to servicing others
3) Sensitive and intuitive to your surroundings (including ppl)
4) Compassion
5) Creative

Course fee: Time, Commitment & Effort

What you will get out of the course:
1) Passion for life
2) Joy
3) The Art of Giving & Receiving love
4) Unforgettable Experience
5) The Science & Art of Excellence Service
6) Creativity
7) fill in yourself

Enrol in the School of Excellence Service Today! ; )

To-do for July

2007-06-13T00:17:00.000-07:00

What I would like more of...

1) retail therapy
2) a lazy day tanning at the beach
3) chilling out with friends at pub
4) reading a good book at home (n not b'cos it's a compulsory reading! OMG! we hafta read atlas shrugged!! >_< ) 5) quality rest zzzzzzz 6) more me-time. enjoy nua-ing at home. 7) ktv sessions with my close friends 8) sisters' gathering 9) bitching, moaning and whining, and exchanging juicy scandals with my gal frens. hoho! 10) catching a good movie 11) romantic nights out 12) shopping with family and updating them my life 13) boss utilizing and bringing out my potential in internship. time to remind him i've been slacking for almost a week doing nothing productive =P 14) play bball! i've not played for more than a month. no wonder body feels off 15) massages! been planning to go but still haven't arrange the appt yet! >_<
16) time to register for violin class. heh heh... i'm learning violin soon. Whoopey!
17) late night calls with friends (not coaching calls!)
18) adventures! where's my dose of adventures! =(
19) ... ... ...

gosh!

What I do as a leader...

2007-06-10T01:57:00.000-07:00

As a leader...

I serve Humanity,
I serve my world(s),
I live my life powerfully
so I may lead others.
I bow down to love and humility,
and stand tall with integrity and courage.
I am responsible for all cause and effects of my actions,
as I co-exist in my past, present and future at the same time.
I walk in God, as God resides in me.

I am the master of my destiny,
and a servant to the Universe.

My realizations this week

2007-06-06T18:08:00.000-07:00

What does it takes to be oneheart?

One Heart
One Soul
One Lady
One Goal.

It takes nothing(ness) to be oneheart.

What does it takes to be a leader?

Inspiration
Humility

What does it takes to be humility?

Intimacy with your people
Start the basics from scratch, all over again
Learn from your peers how they lead the team
Then you know, this is the way they want to be led.
Lead them the way they want to be led.

Took me so long to realize that. >_< well, better late than never.

What does it take to be a coach?

An unbiased logic
Your ability to coach your life
Knowing when to be a friend, when to kick ass, when to give acknowledgement, when to let your coachees shine, when to discipline them, when to push/pull them harder, when not to push/pull them, where to push/pull them, and how much to push/pull.
Compassion
Commitment to results

The Good and Not-So-Good

2007-06-04T19:52:00.000-07:00

I'm currently undergoing a 9month intensive leadership training. I took up the program since 04 May. It is exactly 1 month since I first started the leadership journey, and much have changed in my life:

The Good
1) Increased my monthly income/allowance by 200%
2) Improved relationship with my brother
3) Created a mini coaching program for 3 students as a form of self-training, while earning some side income
4) Ability to juggle many many commitments/responsibilities at one go
5) Having more coachees than ever (something that i've always enjoyed doing)
6) Have more Discipline in my life
7) New challenges every single moment
8) Connect better with strangers recently. More open towards them and ready to strike up a conversation anytime. It's something i used to dread.
9) Improving relationships with people around me, especially my current work place.

The Not-So-Good
1) Was down with a persistant cough for the entire month until i manage to schedule time to see the doctor finally.
2) Hardly spend much time with myself. Even when i do, i would be slping soundly. I missed those daily self-contemplation time on my long bus journey
3) Miss those days where I met up with my sisters and close frens every week
4) There's no turning back or quitting. Once you're in for the 9 months training, you're in for good. >_<
5) No time to bitch about things. It's more of a bitch-fast-and-get-over-it-asap kinda thingy.

Last night was my 1st proper lesson for my mini coaching program. Whenever the students got confronted and showed their resistance, it reminded me of my past- those days when i used to fall aslp for almost every lesson, how i used to procrastinate and not submitting my assignment, how i used to have lots of distractions in my life and just wanted to have lots of fun and play. How i used to dislike the word "discipline" and the story goes on...

When i walked out of my student's house, I suddenly felt that i've transformed so much that i couldnt recognize myself. That was me 2 years ago... It's only 2 years... but it felt like a long long time... How time flies...

I feel like catching up with all my close friends n sisters now...............

Recent Updates

2007-05-25T19:27:00.000-07:00

Love

More self-love in my life. More love for my brother. More compassion for my dad. I honour myself, and my mum.

I told mum that she's a good mother, and I love her. =)

Relationship

And I realized the person whom needs to grow up is myself, not him. I still haven't accepted him for who he is.

Me to D: I'd like to see more of your weaknesses and those parts of you that you think others may not accept abt you. I'll like to accept you for who you are, instead of who I think you are.

Health

I'm still having that persistant cough for last 2 weeks already. And that body ache. Think my body is trying to tell me something.

Time to hear what it has to say.

Career

I've finally chosen my path. Now the question is- If this can work for me, what can make it work?

I've decided to step up and run the organization like a business, instead of just being a staff and waiting for things to happen.

Finance

What should I do to increase what I have now by 200%, without dropping any of my other commitments? What would Wisdom and Inspiration be like for me this instance?

Internship

Learning lots, and lots to do. Let's Make IT Happen!

My 1st Blog Entry

2007-05-25T19:17:00.000-07:00

I finally took the courage to start on new blog here.

Took me such a long time to act on it.

I'm glad I act on it =)

This is my history:

URL: http://fish_1_heart.blogs.friendster.com/oneheart/

I came a long way...